Aaaaaaaand we’re back!  We’re getting pretty close to Valentine’s Day so I’m drawing in to that deadline I set for myself.  Still, just four more chapters to go.  I think I can make this.

As always, be sure to pop on over to Jenny’s blog.  You’ll want to see the pictures for context and I don’t read her introductions and announcements.

So I mentioned this on twitter but I had a real tough time keeping a straight face during recording.  It’s one thing to read awkward dialogue during a Christian/Ana sex scene and another to say it out loud in my deep, ‘manly’ voice.  I had to cut out a lot of laughing.  And a few sneezes, too.  Maybe I’m developing an allergy to this stuff.

Dart on over to Jenny’s blog to catch all the pictures and other excellent content.

Another Saturday, another recap.  As always, hop on over to Jenny’s blog so you get the full experience and extra content.

Something I notice the more I do Ana’s voice is that there are times where it becomes surprisingly sincere.  Almost as if there’s a ghost of character in Ana that’s been trying to claw its way out and call for assistance.  Can’t exactly blame her.  I’d be pretty desperate to escape 50 Shades if I ever found myself trapped inside.  Not before punching Christian in the nose, though.  Gotta have priorities.

Happy Saturday everyone!  The last Saturday of September.  And good riddance, too.  Personally I am more than ready for pumpkin spice season.

It’s getting harder all the time to vary the women’s voices without going completely ridiculous like I do with Ana’s.  I have a feeling I’m going to start doing accents soon.  Speaking of accents, Ana is almost in Georgia with her Mom so I can start doing my shoddy southern accent again.  It’s the little things, you know?

Be sure to follow along on Jenny’s blog so you can spot all the visual gags.

It’s that time again, folks.  Turn on your listening skills and take a ride on the sanity train conducted by Jenny Trout.  Be sure to hop on over to her blog so you don’t miss any visual gags.  Business Time by Flight of the Conchords is also worth a listen.

Oh wow, look at that.  I didn’t die in some freak dressage accident.  Not to say I wasn’t completely convinced that was the way I was going to go at certain points over the summer but I’ve mostly gotten over that.

I’m so sorry about the delay on this, guys.  I got discouraged over the lack of streaming options and then it came to my attention that I could just spend twenty dollars on wordpress to have my own streaming abilities.  So I reasoned, hey, I’ll just wait until I have a spare twenty dollars and then get back to recording.

You can probably tell by the glaring lack of a streaming link in this post that that has yet to happen.  Good news, though!  I’m up for a job that pays more than last year so I should have a bit more wiggle room on that soon.  Maybe sometime in October I’ll have enough padding to go for it.  Anyway, I’ve felt increasingly bad about not posting here and then the 50 Shades trailer came out and I basically refuse to not be done recording the first book’s recaps before the movie comes out.  So that’s the goal!  Finish book one before Valentine’s Day.

As always, be sure to go read along on Jenny’s blog.  It’s always funnier with visuals.  You really don’t want to miss that stool chart.

Hey all!  Sorry about the ridiculous delay.  Holidays, courts, hospitals, madness.  I will be making a proper update with pictures and details.  For now just know that no one’s dead although some people maybe should be.

Also you’ve probably noticed there’s no streaming links.  Long story and I’m fiddling with options.  For now just know that download links are available for all the recaps and will be no matter what.

Enjoy the sixteenth chapter as well as the visual stylings of Jenny Trout over at her site.

I sort of went out on a limb with Ana’s Mom’s voice.  Let me know what you think!

Before your recording, a rant wherein foul language abounds!

So here’s the thing.  There are many, many reasons to despise Fifty Shades.  Jenny covers practically all of them but I found a new little kernel of hatred ready to spring up and choke the nearest innocent bystander while working on this recent recap.  Or at least new to me personally.

Ana goes off about how her literary heroines didn’t prepare her for Christian Grey by example and says several ignorant/offensive things.  For instance she mentions that Tess would ‘succumb’.  You know, I think it’s pretty shitty to use that language about a rape victim.  Granted I’ve never read Tess of the d’Urbervilles but I have heard from pretty much everyone that Tess is raped in the novel.  Using the word succumbed implies quite a bit more consent than actually existed in that specific scenario.  Although considering this is Ana, it’s not all that surprising that she would interpret the scene that way.  Or that E.L. James would interpret it that way.

But it royally pissed me off when Ana claimed that Jane Eyre would ‘be too frightened’.  Bitch, please.  Jane Eyre could kick your ass with one witty quip that would take weeks to sink into your brain.  Then one day you would just drop to your knees and start crying without knowing why.  Christian Grey is definitely enough of a complete ass to try to talk Jane Eyre into being his submissive but after dealing with Mr. Rochester, Jane Eyre would tell him exactly where he could stick his contract in the politest terms possible.  Because that’s how Jane rolls.  She’s a goddamn word ninja.  Let’s also not forget that when Mr. Rochester tried to control her wardrobe and her daily routine, she made him respect her boundaries and like it.  Jane Eyre would literally rather starve out in the cold than be controlled by a man.

So hey, E.L. James, why don’t you shut the fuck up about Jane Eyre from now on, okay?

Now here’s what you’re all really here for.  Follow along with Jenny or miss out on the fabulous pictures.

Download here.

I don’t know if this is some glorious hallucination or even how it’s happened considering I’m out of minutes but….

Update: Okay, now I know how it happened.  The first two recaps are no longer visible on soundcloud.  Jeez.  I’ll just… fix it later.