Here’s a hopefully cheerful way to start off the weekend before Halloween.  Be sure to follow along on the recap or you won’t get to see how condescending Wonka truly is.

Hey everybody!  How about one more recap to end the weekend?

I’m pretty excited about this one because I have been waiting for a while to finally do the voice for Ana’s inner goddess.  It’s probably my favorite.

Also be sure to read Jenny’s recap or you’ll be left wondering why I randomly ask Christian Grey to have a seat.

It’s that time again, folks.  Time to dive back into that exciting, vaguely nauseating but funny (thanks to Jenny Trout) world of Fifty Shades.  Be sure to read along or you won’t get to see a picture of Jenny dressed like a pirate.  It is absolutely worth seeing.

Also, I’ve begun to think the fictional spirit of Ana Steele is possessing my shoes because I keep slipping and falling down.  At least this last time I didn’t hit my knee or tear my jeans.  Instead I have a smattering of scratches and bruises on my leg and I can’t roll onto my left side when I sleep because of the ouch.  So if I could get some tips on how to exorcise spirits or just how to add traction to the bottom of my shoes, that’d be great.

Another really good reason to go over to Jenny’s original recap posts?  She has editorial content that I do not include.  So if you only listen to me then you’re missing out on cool links and other snappy jokes.  So go there!

And now Chapter Nine, where I fail yet again to do a Morgan Freeman impression.

Happy Friday everyone!  To celebrate, here’s the next chapter of Jenny Trout‘s amazing recap.

Be sure to follow along so you won’t miss any visual jokes.  It will also help explain why I randomly burst into song.

It’s been a while but, even without internet at my residence until the 17th, I persevere!

As always be sure to follow along on Jenny’s blog.

Oh, also a note about soundcloud.  A thing I should have noticed but didn’t was that I have a sound limit and once I post the chapter six recap I’ll be out of time.  So either I buy more time or I figure out how else to post these on my blog.  I am, obviously, searching for alternatives.  No arbitrary limits on creativity will keep me from updating!

And now a note about the actual recording.  I do not do a very good Morgan Freeman imitation.  At all.  Sorry.

A thousand apologies for the delay, folks.  I’ve moved locations and my new humble abode has yet to be connected to the internet.  So I’ve hopped on over to the library for some quick uploading of a previously recorded chapter.

Go here to follow along!  And be sure to thank Jenny for making me say Tess of the d’Urbervilles over and over again.  I’m half convinced I pronounced it differently, and incorrectly, every single time.

Why couldn’t Tess have been of Maine or something?  Typical of Thomas Hardy to be so inconsiderate.

Next chapter of Jenny Trout’s recap!  Please do follow along with the text to get all the jokes.

And, for some reason, José sounds vaguely British at one point.  I don’t actually know why that happened.